Men socialize by insulting each other, and not meaning it. Women socialize by complimenting each other, and not really meaning it.
What if the washing machine is the one stealing my socks and I’ve been falsely accusing the dryer?
The greatest criminals in history are the ones you have never heard of.
All humans want is an excuse to be silly. Children act silly because they don’t need an excuse yet. Young adults use alcohol as an excuse
to be silly. Parents use their children as an excuse to be silly. And then old people just use being old as an excuse to be silly.
Blood that I’ve donated could be in someone’s boner right now.
Being the coolest person on Facebook is like being the healthiest person in the hospital.