I am slowly getting The Last and Final Mrs. T to enter her appointments on a shared calendar in iPad or iPhone. This makes it a lot easier to schedule things for myself when I know what she (and we!) is/are committed to and on what days. I am not completely thrilled with the Calendar app but I can get the simple things done there.
However. This trick does not work the same on the iPhone as it does on the iPad. On the iPad you can do a Search and see all your appointments.
You can get a list in iPhone if you choose the “Today” display at the bottom of the screen.